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Figuring Out Your Parenting Style


​​As your newborn grows and develops their own personality, you'll also be developing your own parenting style, simultaneously.

It's an exciting time, but it can also bring up questions you don't have experience answering. Your Boys Town Pediatrician can answer questions about almost everything. You may have questions about:

  • Sleeping, such as sleeping through the night or in toddler beds
  • How to set boundaries
  • Eating habits, including table manners and picky eaters
  • Age-appropriate communication

Four Different Parenting Styles

While it's not fair to try to pigeonhole every parent into one style, there are four common types that describe most parents' styles.

  • Authoritative: High support, high monitoring, many rules.
  • Authoritarian: Low support, high monitoring, many rules.
  • Permissive: High support, low monitoring, few rules.
  • Uninvolved: Low support, low monitoring, few rules.

There are, of course, combinations of these styles. In fact, some combine to the extent that they create substyles. This list, however, will give you a good starting point in identifying which style you might be evolving into.

Rather than focusing too heavily on which parenting style you project, focus instead on being your child's teacher. Your actions and activities with your children are presenting them with behavior they will ultimately model.

For example, if you want your child to say, “please and thank you," you need to say, “please and thank you," pretty much from the start with your newborn.

Be sure to manage your expectations for your newborn as they transition into toddlerhood and further. You'll need to communicate with a toddler in a way that's much different than an older child.

Also, just as you will develop your own parenting style, remember that your child will be developing their own learning style. It's important to keep this in mind when you're getting frustrated.

If you have older children, you'll likely notice that each of your children's learning styles are different from each other. It's important to take a step back and consider each situation individually.

As you and your child develop your parenting and learning styles, you'll discover that certain things will work for your family that might not work for other families. It's an evolving process through each stage of your child's development.

Determining Your Parenting Style

While it's important to research different parenting styles, you can also become overwhelmed with information. You don't have to pick a parenting style the moment your baby is born.

  • As your child grows, you and your family will evolve
  • Your parenting style may change over time
  • You can consciously adjust your parenting style
  • Keep consistency on core issues such as boundaries and important rules

Parenting with Your Spouse or Partner

Communication is the key to success in parenting with your spouse or partner. Have discussions on how you will handle a variety of situations. Then get ready to compromise and work towards the best solution for your family.

Of course, you or your partner may have some non-negotiables, but the key to overcoming those differences is honest communication and follow-through.​

Parenting Pediatrics